The Fire Wasn't My Ending. It Was My Becoming.

I'm Lauren Tobey—trauma-informed coach, creator of The Phoenix Path, and someone who knows what it's like to rise from the ashes. Not once, but again and again.

My Story: From Ashes to Phoenix

Three years ago, I was high-functioning on the outside and dying on the inside.

I had just left my marriage. Not because of one big thing, but because of a thousand small things that had slowly erased who I was. I'd spent years performing—being the "good wife," the strong one, the one who never complained. I adapted. I shrank. I made myself smaller and smaller until I didn't recognize myself anymore.

When I finally left, I thought, "Okay. Now I'll figure out who I am."

But I had no idea who that was.

Then the second fire hit.

Just when I thought I was rebuilding, I got laid off from my executive nonprofit job—the job I thought made me safe, secure, valuable. Gone. In an instant.

There I was again, asking the same question: "Who am I when I'm no longer who I was?"

I was a single mom to Madison and Damian, working multiple jobs to stay afloat, crying in the shower because it was the only place no one could hear me. Everyone said "You just need rest" or "Have you tried yoga?"

But rest didn't help. Yoga didn't help. Nothing helped.

Because I didn't need self-care. I needed to understand what was happening in my nervous system.

So I did the work.

I earned my trauma-informed coaching certifications (CPD Certified & IPHM Accredited). I combined my B.S. in Psychology and M.A. in Adult Learning & Development with lived experience. I studied nervous system regulation, complex trauma, somatic healing—everything I could get my hands on.

Not because I wanted to be an expert. Because I wanted to heal. And I wanted to help other women heal too.

That's when I got the tattoo.

A phoenix feather on my foot with the words: "Because of you, I will not fail."

It was a promise to my kids that no matter how hard it got, I would rise. For them.

But it became so much more than that. It became my mission.

I built The Phoenix Path—the framework I wish I'd had.

Not from a textbook. Not from theory. From the ashes.

From someone who knows what it's like to look fine on the outside while falling apart on the inside. From someone who understands high-functioning depression, emotional numbness, learned helplessness, and the exhaustion of just surviving.

This isn't about "fixing" you. You're not broken.

This is about giving you the tools, the language, and the support to rise—again and again.

Because healing isn't linear. It's a spiral. And the phoenix doesn't rise just once.

She rises every single time.

What Makes Phoenix Rising Different

Honors The Spiral

Healing isn't linear—it's cyclical. You'll rise, fall, and rise again. That's not failure. That's mastery. The phoenix doesn't rise once. She rises every time.

No Forced Forgiveness

Some things are unforgivable. You can heal without forgiving the people who hurt you. We won't gaslight you into "letting it go."

Nervous System-Focused

Trauma lives in your body, not just your thoughts. We work WITH your dysregulated nervous system using somatic practices—not generic "just breathe" advice.

Built From Lived Experience

This isn't theory from a textbook. This is a framework built by someone who's been in the ashes and earned certifications to understand the science behind it.

Why This Work Matters

Phoenix Rising exists because trauma is ignored, avoided, belittled, denied, misunderstood, and untreated—and that ends here.

I see you. I believe you. I have the path forward.

My mission is to walk beside women healing from complex trauma, narcissistic abuse, and high-functioning depression—because you deserve more than "just breathe" advice and forced forgiveness.

You don't need permission to call it trauma. You don't need to forgive to heal. You don't need to have "proof" that it was "bad enough."

If your body remembers it, it counts. And I'm here to help you rise—again and again.

I'm not a therapist or psychologist—I'm a trauma-informed coach who combines lived experience with formal training:

CPD Certified Trauma-Informed Coach

IPHM Accredited Trauma Coach

B.S. in Psychology

M.A. in Adult Learning & Development

I built Phoenix Rising by walking this path myself, then earning the certifications to understand the science behind what I experienced. This work is equal parts lived experience and evidence-based practice.