Because growth doesn’t happen in a straight line
Helping women who lost themselves in relational trauma figure out who they are now, show up fully in their lives, and live with purpose.
Because the real question is
Who are you when you're no longer who you were?
Welcome, Friend!
Welcome. I’m glad you’re here.
If you’ve been holding it together for a long time—and lately it’s taking more effort than it should—this work is for you.
Spiraling Into Control is about what happens when survival strategies keep you functional but disconnected. When overthinking, over-managing, and staying “on” stop feeling like strengths and start feeling exhausting.
You’re not here because you lack motivation or discipline. You’re here because your nervous system adapted—and no one ever explained what that adaptation looks like or how to work with it.
This work gives language to patterns like numbness, control, and high-functioning survival. Not to fix you. Not to push you. But to help you understand what’s happening so you can move forward without leaving yourself behind.
I’m really glad you found your way here.
—Lauren 💜
So, What Is The Spiral?
The Spiral is a framework for understanding how people actually move through trauma, overwhelm, and change. Not in straight lines. Not in neat stages. But in returns.
You don’t go back because you failed.
You return because your nervous system revisits what hasn’t been fully integrated—each time with more awareness, more choice, and more capacity.
The Spiral names what’s been happening beneath the surface: shutdown, awareness, movement, and integration. It replaces “What’s wrong with me?” with a better question: “Where am I right now—and what actually works here?”
You’re not going in circles.
You’re spiraling upward.
💜 Here's What She Said
For the first time in my life, I truly feel like I am moving forward. I can clearly see that I am no longer at the same point I was two months ago. The thematic focus suddenly shifts, I notice that I have finally been able to let go of things I couldn’t release for years, if not decades.
Lucy K.
I loved it. It was the exact language I needed. So practical and easy to implement. I am so pumped to do this daily! Finally I was able to put everything onto paper, my burdens, my past identity, my traumas, etc. Love it! So looking foward to burn all these behind me!
Ruchit P.
Finally things make sense. I always feel bad for the way I feel, for medication not helping, for therapy not helping. This just hits different. Thank you.
Lisa M.
Latest Writings
The Spiral Letter
Every week, I send a letter about survival, awareness, and how people move forward—without leaving themselves behind. Sign up to receive this and other occasional updates.
Your first email includes the Getting to Know the Spiral Starter Guide.
I hate spam as much as you. Unsubscribe anytime.
Each week, I send a letter on survival, awareness, and how people move forward—without leaving themselves behind. Sign up to receive this and other occasional updates.
Your first email includes the Getting to Know the Spiral Starter Guide.
I hate spam as much as you. Unsubscribe anytime.
© Lauren Tobey. All rights reserved.